Questions every couple should ask their wedding celebrant

By John Paul Fitzpatrick — Humanist Society Scotland celebrant

I've written before about how to choose a Scottish humanist celebrant — the general shape of what to look for. This post is the companion to that one, and it's more blunt-instrument than that: an actual list of questions to bring to a first call or coffee with any celebrant you're considering, humanist or otherwise. Print it out, stick it in your notes app, whatever works. The point isn't to interrogate anyone — it's that a good celebrant will be glad you asked, and their answers will tell you more in ten minutes than any website bio will.

1. "Are you accredited, and by whom?"

Start here, because it's the one that actually protects you. In Scotland, "celebrant" isn't a protected title — anyone can print business cards and start taking bookings. What makes a humanist wedding legally valid is that it's conducted by someone authorised by a recognised body, most commonly Humanist Society Scotland. Ask who trained them, who insures them, and whether that organisation is still there to answer to if something needs raised, before or after the day. I've written more on what that accountability actually buys you in what HSS accreditation means for your celebrant — worth a read if the word "accredited" has ever felt like marketing fluff to you, because it shouldn't be.

2. "How many ceremonies like ours have you done?"

Whatever shape your day is taking — a big traditional wedding, a small elopement, a handfasting, a same-sex ceremony, something entirely your own — ask whether they've done it before. You're not fishing for a scorecard. You're listening for whether they can talk about it specifically, with real detail, rather than reaching for a general answer that could apply to any wedding at all.

3. "Will you write the ceremony from scratch, or use a template?"

Ask this one plainly, because the gap between the two answers is the whole ballgame. A template ceremony with your names slotted in reads exactly like what it is. A ceremony written from scratch, built from how you actually met and talk and take the mick out of each other, sounds like nobody else's wedding. Follow it up with: how do you get to know us first? A celebrant who writes from scratch should have a clear answer — a proper conversation, a questionnaire, more than one meeting — not just "tell me on the day."

4. "What happens if you're ill on the day — is there a backup celebrant?"

Nobody likes thinking about this, which is exactly why it's worth asking. A serious celebrant will have a real answer, not a wave of the hand: who the standby celebrant is, whether they'd have your script and notes to work from, and how you'd be told if it ever came to that. If the answer is vague or the question seems to catch them off guard, that tells you something too.

5. "How many meetings and drafts are included before the day?"

Get this pinned down early and in writing. How many planning meetings, how many rounds of edits to the script, whether there's a final read-through close to the day or a rehearsal if you want one. It's not about nickel-and-diming your celebrant — it's so you both know what to expect, and so nothing feels like a grudging extra six weeks before the wedding when nerves are already up.

6. "Can you help us with the legal paperwork, or is that entirely on us?"

In Scotland, this means the M10 forms lodged with the registrar at least 29 days before the wedding, and the Marriage Schedule signed on the day itself. Ask whether your celebrant walks you through each step and deadline as part of working with them, or whether you're left to find your own way through it. A celebrant who's confident on this ground should be able to explain it to you clearly, off the cuff, without reaching for a leaflet.

7. "What's included in your fee, and what costs extra?"

Ask for a plain breakdown — not a number pulled from thin air, a genuine list of what the fee covers: meetings, drafts, travel, any extras like handfasting cords, a PA system, or a rehearsal. This is how you compare celebrants honestly against each other, and it's how you avoid a surprise line item turning up later. A celebrant who answers this without flinching is one who runs their business properly.

8. "Can we hear from a couple you've married before?"

A celebrant with a real track record shouldn't hesitate here. That might mean pointing you to written testimonials, to real wedding write-ups they've published, or offering to put you in touch with a past couple directly. You're not after a script of five-star quotes — you're checking that the people behind the reviews actually exist and had the day they hoped for.

What to do with the answers

None of these questions have a single "correct" answer that rules a celebrant in or out on its own. What you're really testing is whether they answer plainly, specifically, and without defensiveness — and whether, once you've asked all eight, you still like them. That last part matters more than any checklist. You're going to stand in front of your family with this person holding the moment together; make sure you'd choose them for that, not just for a tidy answer sheet.